mid-life disasters?

HAHA. okayy.

i bought a tiny book.

title: The Mid-Life Disaster.

its an awesome book.

its really funny.

i bought it last year

from popular, 20 bucks

for that freaking tiny book.

but it was worthed. :D

Its not a story kinda thing.

Like people telling about

mid life disasters.

like in one sentence.

let me mention a few

funny ones. :D

enjoy.



1.Middle age is when you know all the answers and nobody asks you the questions.

2.I dont feel old. In fact, I dont feel anything till noon. Then its nap time.

3.You know you're getting old when everything hurts abd what doesnt hurt, doesnt work.

4.Middle age is when your wife tells you to pull in your stomach and you already have.

5.Middle age is when: instead of combing your hair, you start arranging it.

6.You know youre getting older when you try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover youre not wearing any.

7.My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as i am. Then she lies anout my age.

8.Its hard to feel like as fit as a fiddle when youre shaped like a cello.

9.Now im over fifty my doctor says i should go out and get more fresh air and exercise. I said "alright, i'll drive with my car window open."

10.The older you get, the harder it it to lose weight, cause your body has made friends with your fat.

11.You have to stay in shape. My grandmum, she started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. shes ninety-seven today and we dont know where the hell she is.

12.Im not into working out. My philosophy: no pain, no pain.

13.After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

14.Whenever i feel like exercising, i lie down until the feeling passes.

15.If ive known i was going to live this long, i'd haven taken better care of myself.

16.If God had to give a woman wrinkles, He might at least have put them on the soles of her feet.

17.When i was twenty, getting ready to go out took no time. Now im forty, it takes two hours. If i ever get to eighty, it wont be worth going out!

18.If youre old enough to know better, youre too old to do it.

19.Dont wory about avoiding temptation. as you grow older, it will avoid you.

20.The important thing in acting is to laugh and cry. If i have to cry, i think of my sex life. If i have to laugh, I think of my sex life.

21. At my age, when a girl flirts with me in the movies, shes after my popcorn.

22. Youth looks ahead, old age looks back and middle age looks tired.

23. When i was young, i was told: "you'll see when youre fifty". im fifty and i havent seen a thing.



Well, these were the ones that caught my eye.
uhh, that was ramdom post, huh?
haha. who cares?!
LOL.



i love you with all my heart. <3